I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
