I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Just pee around me
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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