I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
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