Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
bring money and cleavage
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Randomize
