Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
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all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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