OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize