Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
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he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
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I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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