Small penises have feelings too.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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