So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
