Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
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at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
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He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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