Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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