so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
