I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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