just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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