dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
