He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
