and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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