Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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