My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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