I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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