i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
