He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
