I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize