he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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