My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I wish there were birth control emojis
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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