How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize