don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
