Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
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