You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize