My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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