his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
