Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Houston, we have a blender
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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