check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
