my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
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