well I can't set my house on fire every night
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
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I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
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Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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