I want to make a zoo with you.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
