My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I wish i was in the wii world.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
