I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
