We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
