Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
the day after is always just damage control
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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