Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
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Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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