He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
