i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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