she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
