Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
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