fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize
