I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
