Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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