Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
is that a dick in a sweater?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
