I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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