Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Randomize
