I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
There's always time for handjobs
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
