I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
