I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
