I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
