I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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