Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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