I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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